Dear USA Network and Royal Pains Respectively;

Doug and I are HUGE fans!
Great job putting together quality shows high on wit, and low on the gratuitous scuz most shows use to fill the gaps between inane dialoge.

We love Psych, (loved Monk), love Burn Notice, love White Collar, and we love Royal Pains.  (Plus, we're going to love Covert Affairs.  We just know it.)

We just have one teeny tiny itty bitty complaint:
The song at the beginning of the Royal Pains:
"Independence" by The Blue Van
It doesn't work.
It doesn't elicit excitement.
It annoys people.  (Okay, well--it annoys us.  A lot.)

(And, until now, I thought it said "My Independent Wendolyn".  Which makes as much sense as "My independence went away" --which is what it actually says.)

In short, it BUGS!

And we'd like to respectfully demand that you change it to something more fitting.
Plus, why is Hank falling in a pool?
Plus, how in the HECK does WWE fit into the above line-up???  (Seriously!?)
Please change the whole opening.
And remove WWE from the airways.

Sincerely,

Your Loyal Fans - Doug and Emily Dub

(Sometimes it just feels good to write a letter!)